A thought and one step

On Saturday April 9th, I participated in a 5K. I have enjoyed running since my early 20s, but this was my first organized race.  I finished in about 30 minutes and tremendously enjoyed the experience. Yet, during the weeks before the event I was apprehensive with my expectations. I do not consider myself to be the poster of fitness and that was the problem. As I reflected on my formative years as an overweight child, I feared social embarrassment that stemmed from internalized perceptions of fitness.

Fitness as a concept can be presented as glamorous and sexy (consider commercials with professional athletes or  muscular models advertising exercise devices).  It is thus reasonable for such images to be internalized as concepts that become “the standard” to which we tacitly compare ourselves. Moreover, it also reasonable that a person struggling with weight or body-image could subsequently and persistently demoralize themselves based upon this silent concept.  As an overweight child, jeers from other children and relatives proved detrimental to my self-esteem that persisted into adulthood.  I doubt that I am alone in that experience. These recollections have lived with me and as I waited for the race to commence I stood at the confluence of emotion, socialized concepts, and determination.

The sound came and the race commenced. I thought and with one step my run began. I did not stop and ran past emotion, internal short-comings, and external definitions of fitness.  Completing the race was decided in mind and the body followed. Once done, I decided against celebrating with other runners.  I accepted no high-fives and offered a simple, “thank you”, to congratulatory words. I drank water and grabbed a banana then hurried to the embrace of my family. The achievement was mental but the moment emotional and I reserved celebration for family. I felt no hunger and offered the banana to my oldest daughter.  My youngest daughter proudly adorned the headband I received at the finish line. During our moment of celebration, the words of my children impressed upon me the strength of an example. When my daughters asked if they can run races, I smiled. I did not think that watching their father run at age 40 would impact their behaviors.  I am pleased to establish tangible examples of fitness for them.  At home, my oldest daughter found a local 3K for herself and 1K for her sister. I was proud. We are now committed to running every weekend as they prepare for their first organized races.

I overcame emotional recollections and internalized concepts to participate in my first organized race. In the process I redefined fitness and achievement for myself and set an example for my children. They were more impressed with my participation than completion time or running non-stop. I urge you to set aside externally derived concepts and embrace the opportunity to define fitness and health for self. And if you decide to run, then race to leave misguided notions behind. Fitness is mental as it begins with a thought followed by one step.